When One Door Closes, What Do You Do?

Maybe it's small and made of plywood, or may it's huge and made of Australian hardwood; but it's still a door that closed, and you feel you're not standing on the side you thought you would be. Now what?

Inventor Alexander Graham Bell said, "When one door closes, another one opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."

One kindness we can do for ourselves is have dreams or goals, aim for them, move toward them, but remain flexible. Some things turn out just as we hoped. Some turn out better than we imagined; and others go in a direction opposite of where our target was.

I know someone who is miserable. Years back, she envisioned her target. Over time, she's attempted to sneak up on it, even dropped hints. Sometimes she took aim, fired, and missed. Were she to be scored on determination and tenacity, her number would be quite high; but she forgot to remember her target was in a field shared by others and influenced by life. She forgot to be flexible. So fixated on her "door," when another opened that offered the best outcome, she couldn't see it for what it was and not only slammed the door, but cemented it shut.

Maybe each of us has done something similar. Her story is an example of someone who doesn't simply have a goal or dream, but an agenda. People with goals or dreams, keep their eyes open for others and resources that help make it happen, and they modify or adjust as needed. Those with an agenda, manipulate and get angry when things don't go their way. If the door they focus on closes, they fail to notice they're standing in a room full of doors where equal or better outcomes await them.

I paraphrase a quote by author, Lauren Frances: Any rejection is your protection.

Rejection does tie in here. Whenever we face a major life change, it's feasible we might feel life, itself, rejected us and our desired outcome. Ultimately, rejection happens in only one place: Within ourselves. Depending on what the closed door represents, has all to do with feelings or emotions we may have to heal or deal with. At some point, we should recognize that the door is closed, perhaps even locked. When we acknowledge this, we can give ourselves permission to make a slow circle and notice the other doors. For some of us, the only way we ever walk through the "right" door is if the one we latched ourselves to slams in our face.

Next time a door closes for you, plywood or hardwood, take the time you need to experience what you feel. Allow yourself to look for what can be learned or state that even if you can't see it now, there surely is something you can gain from your experience. Then, take a couple of calming breaths, draw your shoulders back, stand up straight, and look around until you see the door you'll walk through next. Go ahead. Take that first step. Your life is waiting.