The Choices We Make Shape Our Lives - A look at Emotional Intelligence

People forget the great power they hold within-the power to shape their life. Our life is shaped by the choices we make. You are the one who choose how to live your life or create your life's path. Our first step is to choose the type of life path we want-hills and valleys or rolling plains. Remember you ultimately make the choice.

How do I create a life path?
Start by visualizing the life you really want. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Write it down. Describe it in detail so it becomes alive and real for you.

Is there such a thing as a perfect life path?
Ok you spend a great deal of time creating the perfect path for yourself. Two things to remember life is never perfect and road we take can become bumpy and painful because of the choices we make along the way.

What do I do when the path gets bumpy?
Yes, there may be times we make choices that cause our path to become bumpy, confusing and uncertain. Our path seems like a series of hills and valleys there is never any balance.

When this happens, we should stop and examine the choices we made that have taken us down this path. We should evaluate those choices and identify alternative or new choices that will bring us back to our true path-the one we originally created. Once again we shape our lives by the choices we make.

What about the unexpected?
Despite the wise choices we made and make in creating our path, things happen in life that we cannot control or the "unexpected". We shape our lives by the choices we make.

We can choose to give up or we can choose to keep going and turn the situation into a positive vs. a negative. We can spend our energy looking for positive solutions or we can waste our time focusing on the problem which is negative energy that will get us no where fast.

Once again it's the choice you make that shapes your life.

What's the payback for looking towards solutions?
You can look for a solution or you can dwell on the problem each choice has a different affect on your life. The choice is yours. Positive energy focused on solutions tends to bring positive results in all areas of our life. The results can take the form of happiness, satisfaction, inner peace, humility, a sense of accomplishment and achievement, increased self esteem, greater self confidence those are just a few.

Once again, it's the choices you make that shape your life even when life brings you the unexpected or unpleasant.

When we choose to turn bumps in road into success experiences, we reach new levels of success and enhance our overall quality of life. In fact it is these choices we make that inspire us and positively transform our lives.

We are motivated to go for more in life, to reach new levels of learning and self awareness. We experience a sense of balance, happiness and harmony in our lives. We dare to live our life a bit more fearlessly-taking risks and using our inner creativity more freely. We experience an increased sense of self esteem, confidence, courage, wisdom and inner peace.

Wow, that's an awesome pay off for going positively with the flow. Now that's a wonderful life. Yes, but that was he choice you made.

So I say to you once again, the choices we make shape our lives.

How do I start?
The secret of making wise choices is based on our values, morals, principles and self awareness.

What about emotions?
Choices should not be based purely on emotions. The wiser approach is to consider the state of our emotions when we make choices. The best choices are made when we recognize and understand our emotions and have skills at using this awareness to manage yourself, your choices and relationships with others. The ability to understand our emotions and the emotions of others is an important emotional skill to have when making choices. We call this Emotional Intelligence- EQ.

What about Emotional Intelligence or EQ Coaching?
"Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions, and your skills at using this awareness to manage yourself and relationships with others."- Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, "The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook"

In 1995, Daniel Goleman's first book was published and Emotional Intelligence became a much talked about topic in classrooms and boardrooms. The term, EQ (Emotional Quotient), was mainstream. But the study of EQ was not new. It had been around for over 30 years. It wasn't until the early 1990s however that EQ emerged as a strong indicator of future success. Psychologists Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey (Yale University) confirmed that IQ, the traditional measurement of intelligence, is not the most important factor in determining success in life - but that EQ is the major indicator of achievement.

EQ coaching is specifically focused on the development of emotional skills to increase personal effectiveness and enable one to demonstrate the competencies at work and in life that result in success. EQ coaching involves a process of creating discovery, which supports the clients to become more aware of and understand their own emotions and the emotions of others. EQ coaching also focuses on building emotional skill.

Clients quickly recognize the value of emotional self-awareness, but don't know how to become more aware. Generally speaking, through social conditioning people have become better at avoiding feelings than recognizing, understanding and using them effectively. So part of a good EQ coach's role is to be an instructor in emotional literacy - recognizing, using and effectively expressing emotions.

As with all coaching, emotional intelligence coaching involves identifying new choices and taking new actions. EQ coaches, support clients to recognize the relationship between their thoughts, feelings and actions, identify possibilities for new behaviors, and take new actions to create different results and make better choices.

How do I get started?
Here some action steps to help you make wise choices that positively shape you life.

1. Determine what you want from life- Visualize what it looks and feels like. Write it down. Draw pictures, use shapes, symbols and colors to truly capture the life you want and love.

2. Clarify your values. Make a list of the things in life that are most important to you-write them down and in order of importance.

3. Identify your morals and guiding principles by which you live your life. Write down at least 10 qualities that reflect your morals and principles you hold yourself true to. Such as honesty, integrity, loyalty, compassion, dedication, humility

4. Look at the "current reality" when you make choices. What's the reality of the situation?

5. Develop and build your emotional skills. When you recognize the relationship between your thoughts, feelings and actions you can identify possibilities for new behaviors, and take new actions to create different results and make better choices.