The Santa Pause

Christmas morning, I watched the weather on a local television station. I won't repeat what the weatherman said, but it was something about Santa that shouldn't be said, ever, in such a venue. One of the two news people tried to give him an out, but he missed it completely and kept talking. They went to commercial break and when they returned, he stuttered through the closing weather summary; and, the expression on his face made me switch from, "What was he thinking?!" to compassion.

I could imagine what his co-workers said to him during the break and after, comments from higher-ups, phone calls and emails from very unhappy parents and grandparents, and any others who had the impulse to do the same. He could easily become known as the grinch who stole Christmas, or almost did. All things considered, even if he was to make a public apology, what could he say? In his favor was that it was only a local station and early enough that most children were probably focused on matters other than regional news and weather.

People often speak before they think, especially when triggered into anger or fear, or when they attempt to sound clever. Even if an apology follows, some words can never be taken back. Some words leave a mark, some a scar. This is especially true when it comes to children, but adults can be just as affected. The words we use and how we use them, particularly with or around children, contribute to sculpting them into the adults they become.

Someone I know told me that when his young daughter was upset about something and screamed at him, he told her that she shouldn't scream at people because if they die that day or the next, she could never take it back, that she'd have to live the rest of her life with that fact. I suggested that guiding a child with guilt didn't seem a good method, that perhaps a more instructional way was to tell her something like, "You're welcome to share your thoughts with me so we can address them, but you are not welcome to scream at me." I added this would also teach her to say the same if someone raises their voice to her.

We're not perfect, nor should we attempt to be; but, we can aim to be better. We can pause before we say something that is hurtful, harmful, or damaging. This includes gossip. Though I couldn't readily confirm who said it, I once read a quote attributed to Ghandi: "Gossip is a form of violence." This also goes for any demeaning or disrespectful utterances.

We're in a new year filled with dreams, goals, possibilities, potentials, and fresh starts. Maybe a good first step (along with the usual après holiday feasting diet) is a verbiage diet. But as we know, diets don't work; better choices do. Food and words: Choose better ones for desired results.