Don't Let Your Personality Hold You Back -- Even If You Are Inner-Directed

Every personality type has its own natural expression. You know it is natural when it feels comfortable. Still, society in general has not embraced personality diversity. It seems that the ideal personality is the outgoing, fast, loud or over-the-top expressive types. You see it reinforced in television, movies, marketing and even in the characteristics employers use to screen for new hires.

I believe personality diversity is as important as ethic or cultural diversity. To get there, it helps when each of us opens up to what makes us great and lets it shine. This challenge is particularly demanding for introverts and highly sensitive people [what I call "inner-directed"]. However, it is not impossible.

How do you stop yourself from being a natural and complete expression of who you are? There are many ways. Which of these affect you?

* Fear: Fear is a projection of what you expect, not of what is. For many, fear obstructs constructive actions. Yet, it is possible to move forward despite fear. Don't let this warning system control your destiny.

* Living your past or story: Here, you cast the shadow of your past on present experiences by replaying what has happened before, quelling your in-the-moment instincts. Recast your past and you overcome this barrier.

* Limiting beliefs: Here is another way your past plays out in the present. Some prior experience caused you to form a belief, which may not be valid in the present. Recognizing its historic nature is the start of re-forming that belief.

* Trying to be like others: Could you be embellishing your natural traits by pretending to be something you are not? Selling out your true personality never brings rewards as deep as being who you truly are.

* Hiding what you think are your flaws or faults: Trying to put parts of you under camouflage rarely works either, as those traits leak out anyway. What if those supposed flaws or faults were really your greatest natural gifts? You never know until you use them.

* Self-doubt: No one is ever 100% self-confident, no matter how it appears. Learning to work with self-doubt and its negative inner dialogue is the key to mastering this essential part of being human.

* Living to other people's expectations: Could you find yourself feeing "I can't because (any label, like "introverts") don't do that" or "They want me to do (some action), so I will." If so, you are trying to meet external expectations and putting your own integrity aside. Instead of aiming for their target, define your own bull's-eye you can hit repeatedly.

* Narrow social opportunities: Feeling inhibited about larger groups, new situations or strangers doesn't have to control you. I've succumbed to social phobia and then learned to cope. Practice helps quiet negative feelings and allows you to replace them with more current, successful memories.

* Restrictive career choices: It's easy to talk yourself out of new opportunities around work to feel safe. Yet, when you rely on your natural abilities and let go of each of the items on this list, work and getting along at work (and elsewhere) are easier.

I've seen that extroverts and non-highly sensitive people have these same concerns, too. It just doesn't seem to bother them as much as it does for us. Let's learn from their example (notice I didn't say, "copy them") to expand our horizons, feeling less bound by our personality traits. Then, as we participate more in the world in our natural ways, all will see the greatness that lies within our inner-directed type and the gifts we bring to society.