How To Avoid of the Toxic Trap of Success

We all want to be successful. It all about hard work, and sacrifice isn't it? If we just work a little harder, a little faster, a little longer, or if we become better at multi-tasking, we'll get that promotion, earn more money, and our lives will be perfect. Or will it?

Many highly successful men and women feel lonely, cut off, and unfulfilled by their success. So often, their drive for winning threatens their health, relationships and families, leaving them with "an eerie vacancy of spirit."

The problem is this: the more people focus their efforts on becoming successful, the less they remember the reason they wanted that success. For those that actually achieve this pinnacle, their focus becomes staying on top, so winning the game isn't really possible.

Despite dramatic technological advances aimed at efficiency, executives and managers have less leisure time than ever before, thanks to downsizing, mergers, increased workloads and increased performance expectations.

Dr. Paul Pearsall, a clinical psychologist and best selling author of 15 books, lays out his most recent offering, Toxic Success Syndrome, which is the details of a 10 year study of 100 "winners" and their families and associates. The study found that well-adjusted high achievers and those who suffer from what he calls toxic success syndrome, approach their lives in very differently. Pearsall says that most victims of this syndrome are distant, detached, distracted and suffer from a form of attention deficit disorder. In contrast, people who experience "sweet success"--an almost constant state of delight in their work and life--are able to direct their attention to the present moment.

Jane Austin, auhor of What No One Ever Tells You About Leading for Results, says than many people in the throes of toxic success argue "they will lose their edge" if they slow down or cut back on work commitments. She offers the following myth busters:

Myth: I'll do whatever it takes until I really make it.

This distorted view assumes that life doesn't exist until you're reached your goal.

Myth: My success is defined by my career and how much money I make.

This distortion places no value on the complete individual.

Myth: I've live a balanced life once I'm successful.

This distortion is a "if, then" argument which places responsibilitly for life in the future.

Myth: I have to stay on the fast track to be seen as a "player."

This distortion is fear-driven that leaves control of your life in someone else's hands.

Austin recommends that companies create work environments that support healthy success and a balanced lifestyle by measuring results not in face-time, but by aligning worker strengths with job responsibilities, incorporating self-management into performance appraisals, and executives walking the talk of life balance.