Understanding Relationships

Conflicts, challenges and misunderstandings are common bumps in relationships. Understanding relationships means understanding in your relationships. Find understanding in each situation to keep things smooth and learn compassion.

When something happens that causes us hurt, pain or confusion, we often go immediately to blaming the other person, feeling like a victim or feeling wronged in some way. Instead, be understanding.

To understand is to seek the "why" in a situation. Every action is motivated by an emotion such as fear, love, insecurity, passion, pain, etc. One's behavior is usually a result of how they are feeling inside at that moment. It's not necessarily about you. If you can understand the emotion behind a seemingly hurtful behavior, you will see that most of the time the behavior isn't personal. You will also have more compassion for your partner as you will have a better knowing of their fears and insecurities.

We all have fears and sometimes we act out of these fears. Have you ever been at the supermarket and stood behind a very difficult, rude person at the checkout counter? Instead of judging him for his behavior or blaming him for making you late, pause and consider what may be going in his life. Maybe he just heard some bad news. Perhaps he is under a great deal of stress and is cracking under the pressure. He could be ill. Being in physical pain daily can be very challenging for one to always be upbeat.

Identify the possible reasons behind the behavior, not to condone or excuse but to understand and to therefore have compassion. Having compassion will open your heart to another. On the other side of this, knowing your partner is being understanding instead of blaming and judging is a great gift. It diffuses the tension and creates the opportunity to release your fears. You become more understanding in the process.

Being understanding can be a process at times and it may not come right away. But if you want it to, if you open your heart and get out of the blame game, it will come. Once you get there, it will greatly minimize the conflicts, hurt and confusion in all of your relationships. Your heart will open and your compassion will expand. And it will show you that things aren't usually personal.