What's Your Excuse?

A friend told me about a young woman she knows who seems to be stuck in life. Two things the young woman says she wants, a job and a relationship, continue to elude her. She states she would be an asset to both, but she shouldn't have to do anything to demonstrate how or why, that anyone should be able to look at her and recognize her value. My friend said this young woman always has excuses about why she can't do, or shouldn't have to do, what's needed to attain outcomes. When my friend said this, I saw how the opposite of success is often an excuse.

We sometimes say we want certain things and may, in fact, talk quite a bit about our ideas, but we don't take action to make them happen. Perhaps a more honest statement would be, "It would be nice, but I'm not willing (yet) to do what it takes." That's a better thing to say because it's authentic. Someone intent on success, whatever that means to them, makes a plan, figures out resources needed, and gets started, taking step after step until the outcome is reached. Intention sees obstacles as clues for what doesn't work and inspires us to ask, What might work instead?

Many people are familiar with the huge number of "failures" Thomas Edison had before he discovered what would make a light bulb function as he believed it should, or the numerous rejections Colonel Sanders got before someone accepted his idea for how to successfully season and fry chicken. Edison's statement was that every idea that didn't work was one more way not to make a light bulb. Sanders needed to find one person who believed, as he did, that his fried chicken recipe would sell. Many of us would give up long before either man considered doing so (but didn't). Theirs were bigger ideas than some of us have, but we can apply their examples to anything.

When we say we can't or shouldn't have to do something in order to have what we desire, this is the time to look within. Sometimes, a particular fear is the cause. Sometimes, it's a belief that doesn't serve us. If there is something you truly want but never seem to be able to attain it or stop just short of the mark, you want to look at what's holding you back. Your excuses are a good place to start. Make a list of things you believe you want in life. To the right, make two columns entitled, "It Would be Nice, But..." and "Whatever It Takes, I Intend to Make This Happen." Place a checkmark in the correct column for each item. This not only distinguishes what you'd like from what you are committed to, but also shows where your energy is going and where it needs to be directed.

Sometimes, what holds a person back requires therapy to make a break-through. Most times, all that is needed is to, for a period of time, work with a life coach to discover and decide how to go beyond self-imposed limitations. At the very least, if you catagorize what you believe you want into the two columns suggested above, you discover whether an item is a genuine goal, as well as where you limit yourself with excuses or plan to succeed.

The question is: Do you want to be remembered for your excuses or your successes?