What Do You Really Want?

I've had conversations with people who were discussing (okay...complaining about) their lives who when asked, "What do you really want?" responded with, "What I don't want is..." This is how many of us think, where we place our focus. Not where you want to stay, but is where you want to start.

In iPEC's life coaching process, we use a life wheel that includes personal development, spiritual awareness, fun and enjoyment, intimate and social relationships, health and aging, personal finance, career or profession, and family or parenting as these are the primary areas that concern most people.

Here's an exercise using this wheel. On paper, create two columns: Don't Want and Do Want. Pick one of the areas listed above. We'll use finances for our example. Under Don't Want, we write, "I don't want to worry about being able to pay bills," or whatever your concern is. Under Do Want, we write, "I do want to feel comfortable and confident about my finances at all times." Feel what it would be like for the Do Want to be your reality. If you have difficulty with this, ask yourself questions like, Why do I want to feel this way? What does my life look like with this as my reality? How does it feel to be debt-free and always able to easily pay bills? Do you smile when you write out checks and still have more than you need in the account? Don't limit your imagination. The point is to get in touch with the feeling that comes with having abundance in your life. But, don't stop there. Once you get in touch with this feeling, write a statement beneath the two entries that affirms what you do want. Something like: I expect (or intend) the abundance that flows through my life now, to expand beyond what even I have imagined.

Some of you probably feel this is total nonsense. That's understandable. Most of us were taught that if we don't focus on what we don't want, don't worry or fret or struggle about something, we aren't being responsible or realistic. But that is how the human mind works, not how the quantum field works. The way this field works is it responds to what we feel, not what we think. What we focus on (our strongest feeling) is what we attract to us. This is one reason affirmations falter at times. We don't really believe them. We aren't in touch with how it will feel when it's ours, nor do we focus on that feeling.

We also tend to doubt how we can get what we desire. The courageous part is to let go of any doubt about how it can or will happen. I won't share details, but I'll tell you that years ago, I wrote down that I wanted a car with all the bells and whistles and a house in the mountains, and I didn't want to have to pay anything for them. Could I get any more unrealistic than that?! I didn't concern myself with the How, I simply trusted it would be mine at some point. At the time, I was making $7.22 an hour, so lots of people would have told me I was pipe-dreaming. But within a year, both were mine. And I had them for nearly two years until it was time for me to move to a new phase in my life.

Whenever you feel yourself worrying or doubting, pull out this exercise and re-read what you wrote. Get back in touch with the feelings of having what you want. Let the Law of Attraction work on your behalf to provide it. So, what do you really want?