When I started to write this article, I was in that lofty place of being removed from the topic, yet having something to say about it. Half-way through the article, something happened and I was no longer writing about emotional pain and suffering, I was living it. Sort of changes, or refines, one's perspective.
I was feeling emotional pain, yet simultaneously trying to lift myself out of it with every tool in my bag, as though it was wrong to feel this way. After all, I coach empowerment and write about it! You know, it just wasn't the time for this attitude. I understood that "This, too, shall pass," and was conscientious that I'd attract more of what I focused on, so was juggling a lot of stuff. I'd entered into resistence and wasn't allowing myself to have this experience.
When our lives are impacted in this way, we have myriad emotions: denial, anger, despair, loss of energy...I'm sure each of you could add to this list based on your own experiences. It's called being human. So as my inner battle ensued, I decided to cease inner-fire and pay attention, to observe my Self. I saw that my fear-driven imagination had kicked into gear. It went beyond what I knew about what was happening and took this event far past what was. It was like watching Dominoes, each imprinted with segmented images of my life rather than dots, falling and causing the next to fall, and the next, and the next. You get the picture.
This was how I was causing additional suffering. Only the actual event was real, everything else was illusion. But my body, mind, and emotions were feeling these imaginings as though they were occurring; and, this was what I had to stop.
When something in our life shifts on a large or small scale, we might enter into illusion, often fearfully, about how the rest of our lives will be impacted. When something beyond our control happens, we might feel we've lost the ability to control anything. We might feel the effects of an event down to our core, but what happens after that, what we choose to do and where we choose to go from there, is something we can control or influence. We might even feel immobilized; but, eventually, we begin to move again. Hopefully, forward. Negative energy can feel eternal, but it isn't.
I don't know what's going to happen regarding this event. In this moment, I've surrendered to not knowing. It will resolve eventually. It doesn't have to affect any other area of my life unless I allow it. One pattern or truth has been constant in my life: Whatever happens, happens for a reason; and it always creates or evolves into something that is ultimately positive in my life. I've decided to allow all the natural, human emotions to surface so I can work with them; but, I've chosen not to add to the suffering. Where I can take action, I will. Where I cannot, I'll address it from the inner level.
No one can decide for us how long we grieve or how much time is needed to come to terms with events. It takes as long as it takes. However, we can help ourselves in the process. We can honor what we feel. We can be deliberate about not adding to our suffering. Pain is inevitable; extending or adding to our suffering is optional.
About Joyce Shafer
Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She's author of "Don't Want to be Your Guru" and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles and free downloads. See all that's offered by Joyce and on her site at http://stateofappreciation.weebly.com
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