How Spontaneous Are You?

A prevalent belief is that we have to set goals, stay on track, stay focused, plan the moments of our lives. This is good advice because it keeps us on purpose and aiming for the outcomes we intend to create. But, don't you know those who take this overboard? While speaking with a friend yesterday, he spontaneously asked me to go with him to a nearby café so we could continue talking. I was glad he acted on the spur of the moment, as did I in accepting, because he's a terrific conversationalist and the next few hours were spent in excellent company rather than at my desk.

I wish I had said this first: "There is a difference between creating a living and creating a life." A friend shared that her life partner told her when they first met, "I want a life." This would surprise some people because he's a high-powered professional in Manhattan. You might have looked at him and said he had succeeded in every way. But that's not how he felt.

When you visit their home, you see that a life is exactly what they've created. Certainly, there are some consistencies that fit into a goals agenda; but what makes it a life, is the spontaneity. No day is ever completely predictable there. People gravitate to their home because it's fun and lively. One reason why is that my friend is spontaneous. She has a great time with her life, yet gets everything accomplished she wants to and is, indeed, quite accomplished.

I can't recall ever reading any material about goal-setting that also stated, "Remember to include time for fun." When I trained as a life coach, we used a Wheel of Life to rate where we felt we were, on a scale of one to ten, in the primary areas of our lives. Where I scored low, was under Fun. I'd become so focused on work and accomplishing something in life, I failed to realize how integral enjoying myself was to that goal. Doing something fun recharges me and helps me perform even better. It rounds out my life.

What does this have to do with being spontaneous? If we always plan our fun times, we're missing the point. If we can't be spontaneous about having fun, how can we be truly spontaneous in any other area? Think about your own spur-of-the-moment events that ended up being some of the best, most enjoyable times for you. Could you have planned them? Not likely. Note: I'm not referring to a Ready-Fire-Aim approach.

Allow life to surprise you in good ways. Make your plans and take action on them as you move forward on purpose in life; but, also make a life while you do it. No one can do this for you. Decide to be spontaneous as often as appropriate for you and see what happens.