Fake It 'Till You Make It and Authenticity

I recently got a CD series on a particular aspect of life I thought it would benefit me to learn more about. Most of the information is useful and insightful. Some of it has the "fake it 'till you make it" element involved. Committed to giving this a fair shot even though I felt a degree of discomfort, I tested some of the recommendations. They worked. You could say it was successful because the actions produced expected results. By the next morning, I was not in a good mood. In fact, I was angry.

Anger is a good thing because it points to an imbalance, usually one where head and heart are not in alignment. It took asking myself what I felt in order to figure this out. Sure, the actions delivered as promised; but ultimately, they didn't reflect the real me. They are a form of manipulation used on another or others to attain desired outcomes.

Let's take a moment to look at a few "drivers": Set goals, create outcomes, be authentic. Each one of these receives lots of attention from people such as myself and others. Each is a worthy topic in its own right. To get past the upset I experienced, I blended them: My goal is to be authentic in every moment. That is the outcome I want.

Some of the suggestions on the CDs occur as we interact with others such as mirroring another, which often happens naturally, or deliberately if we use NLP techniques (neuro-linguistic programming). NLP recommends mirroring in order to connect with another on their level. Anything that builds connection and communication is always a good idea.

It's about intention, isn't it? My options, it appeared, were: Intend to manipulate in order to "control" specific outcomes or Intend to connect and communicate as my authentic self and be open to and observant about outcomes. Authenticity is a moment-by-moment response experience, based on who we know ourselves to be. It's about integrity.

It came down to one question: Was I willing to let go of a level of control that produced expected outcomes in order to stay authentic? You bet. I may integrate some of the suggestions into my life because of what they do for me, personally. As long as I don't use them to manipulate others, that is, know my intention, I remain authentic to the one person whose opinion matters most in my life. Me. Before you "fake it 'till you make it," determine if your authentic self will win or lose.