I'll Be Happy When....

"If you can't be happy where you are, it's a cinch you can't be happy where you ain't."
Charlie "Tremendous" Jones, Publisher-Motivator-Humorist

I've heard people say, "I'll be happy when..." then name some situation that's on the horizon. You can walk for ages, but you never reach the horizon...because it's not a finite point. As a life coach, the natural question would be, What stops you from being happy now?

Some might read the quote and believe it means if you're unhappy in a job or relationship or any situation, you should convince yourself to smile and enjoy where you are. You can do that, but that's not the point of the statement. It's like that other great quote, "Wherever you go, there you are." What some miss is that being unhappy in a situation is not the same as being an unhappy person. Nor is happiness about being euphoric at all times. That's unrealistic. But, a person who understands and values being happy who finds himself in an "unhappy" situation, will make every effort to make a needed change.

The thing that some people don't realize is that happiness is not a result, it's a deliberate choice to be in a particular state of mind. You can literally shift your energy, meaning your perception and resultant actions or behaviors, by changing how you think about something or someone. Not always easy, but it can be simple.

One of the simplest ways to do this is to become the observer of yourself and what's going on around you. When something perceived as negative is happening, some people enter what I call a negative vortex. They engage or entertain thoughts that make them feel more of whatever they feel, whether that's bad, sad, or angry. They think if they feel enough of whatever, they'll cause what's happening to stop. That's not the usual outcome. This tends to create even more of what they don't want and, often, ends up escalating the dynamics. I'll share with you that there are times when things kind of pile up in life to the point where I can't help but say, "This is ridiculous!" I've taught myself to break the spell by doing something that tends to startle people if any are in my vicinity: I laugh. Not a tremulous giggle, a rip-roaring belly laugh.

What stops you from being happy now? Are you waiting for things to fall into place? Someone to do something in particular? What are the chances that things will get better if you pout or shout enough? How's that worked for you so far? People who do not manage their emotions or behaviors well, and subsequently their lives, tend to be manipulators. They miss the point of what power is and where it comes from. If you want to get in touch with your personal power, start by choosing to be happy as often as possible. Of course, I need to offer the disclaimer: There are times when "happy" feels completely inappropriate. I'm not referring to those moments, but to your everyday ones.

We could say that what might best follow "I'll be happy when" is.... When I choose it.