You've undoubtedly heard the well-known idea attributed to Rene Descartes that says "I think, therefore I exist" or "I think, therefore I am." But what if Decartes' famous dictum or equation doesn't provide a complete answer?

The book entitled "Descartes' Error" by Antonio Damasio takes on Descartes' famous pronouncement with the idea that our feelings and emotions are much more important than ever imagined. In other words, Damasio believes that it is wrong to think that only minds think. You may want to read that statement again: It is wrong to think that only minds think. What if our feelings and emotions play a key role in the way we think and what if our feelings and emotions are actually at the core of our thinking making them required for rational decision-making? I find his hypothesis extremely fascinating.

It's always interesting to take something that is considered an undeniable truth and then dig in deeper to see if what we've been told, or if what we've come to accept or believe, might require more analysis. Antonio Damasio's book might change the way you think about the mind as well as how you think about thinking itself. What if our feelings and emotions are actually the most important parts of who we are and how we live? What if they are more important than our thoughts and/or what if they somehow guide our thoughts? What if feelings and emotions are actually at the root of our thinking?

I personally believe that a great deal of what we think about comes from the questions that we ask ourselves on a daily basis. But what if even the questions we ask ourselves are bubbling to the surface based on our feelings and emotions? This is indeed an intriquing area of study.

So if you want to stretch your mind with some interesting concepts and ideas relative to thinking and the mind, I recommend reading "Descartes' Error." It might change the way you view yourself and the world around you.

Just for fun, think about this for the next 30 days and see if anything changes in your life:

"I FEEL, THEREFORE I AM."

It's more than just a philosophical mind bender. Giving your feelings and emotions more significance might lead you to a completely different life. In fact, what if your feelings and emotions are the most intelligent part of who you are? And what if they are trying to tell you how to live a better life but you're just not listening?

I was going to end by saying "it's worth thinking about" but maybe it would be more accurate to say "it's worth feeling."

What are you reading these days? If I had access to your house, would I find a stack of interesting books on your night stand?

Just for fun, I recently grabbed the books off of my wife's nightstand. She always seems to find great books to read so I selected four books from her stack to see what I might learn. What I like to do is try to pull one or two powerful ideas from every book that I read. So here is a glimpse into four books that you might want on your reading list.

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DARKNESS VISIBLE
A Memoir of Madness
by William Styron

This is a book I would have never selected myself. Yet sometimes the books that can be most helpful to us are the ones that we might never select ourselves. I tend to like the more positive books that focus on success and achievement rather than the books that delve into the pain that can be experienced in life. But sometimes the most powerful lessons in life come from painful experiences. And luckily, I found that this book does have a happy ending.

If you've ever sufferred from depression or know someone close that has, you know how debilitating it can be. This book is Pulitzer Prize Winning author William Styron's memoir about his descent into depression, and the triumph of recovery.

I knew that this was going to be interesting, when I saw this opening quote:

For the thing which
I greatly feared is come upon me,
and that which I was afraid of
Is come unto me.
I was not in safety, neither
had I rest, neither was I quiet;
yet trouble came.
- Job 3:25-26

I never thought of this quote in relation to depression but I can now see the connection.

Styron also uses some quotes from Dante's THE DIVINE COMEDY:

In the middle of the journey of our life
I found myself in a dark wood,
Where the straight way was lost.

You'll need to read about his experiences yourself, but this book will give you a glimpse into very serious depression. The good news is that Styron finally ends the book with his own translation to the final line of Dante's Inferno section of THE DIVINE COMEDY:

And so we came forth, and once again beheld the stars.

Here's my major idea from the book:

Don't ever think that a problem cannot be overcome even if you don't fully understand it, and especially if no one else understands it. There are always answers and hope. Or to say it another way, it's always too soon to give up.

* * * * *

HEAVEN IS FOR REAL
A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back
by Todd Burpo

If you wonder about what happens after death, you might find studying near death experiences to be something worthwhile. And if you study near death experiences, definitely don't miss this book. It's about a kid that goes to heaven while undergoing life-threatening surgery.

Here's my major idea from the book:

Near death experiences may be one of the best sources of information about what happens after death and what heaven is like. And since kids often have a closer connection with the spiritual realm, a kid that had a near death experience is really fascinating to study.

However, none of this seems to negate the fact that our current home on planet earth is caught up in the great war between good and evil which seems to put us in various battles where we must constantly choose how we are going to learn, because learning seems to be the name of the game.

The question is whether we will choose to learn through pleasure or pain, and even if the pain comes, will we choose to allow it to overcome us or allow it to transform us into something better?

Of course, not just believing but actually KNOWING that heaven is for real, can change your entire experience of life. Temporary pain is much more bearable if you remember that you are spiritual traveler heading to a place without such pain.

* * * * *

FAILURE TO CONNECT
How Computers Affect Our Children's Minds — and What We Can Do About It
by Jane M. Healy, Ph.D.

I can certainly see why my wife is reading this one. We have a son who is almost a teenager now, and he is obsessed with computer and video games which which means he needs to be monitored.

Here's my major idea from this book as written by the author:

Just because children — particularly young ones — are performing tasks that look technologically sophisticated does not mean they are learning anything important.

* * * * *

SWAY
The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior
by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman

This book is over-the-top interesting. If you wonder about human nature and why people do what they do, don't miss this book.

The authors present some fascinating hidden psychological undercurrents that affect us all:

Loss Aversion - our tendency to go to great lengths to avoid possible losses.

Value Attribution - our inclination to imbue a person or thing with certain qualities based on initial perceived value.

Diagnosis Bias - our blindness to all evidence that contradicts our initial assessment of a person or situation.

They talk a lot about the challenges resulting from blind commitment to anything in life.

Here are a few major ideas from this book:

How to Conquer "Loss Aversion" …
"Having a long-term plan — and not casting it aside — is the key to dealing with our fear of loss."

Don't chase losses trying to unlose what you've already lost.

Also, don't get swayed by the hidden forces of commitment to a current course of action. Don't always try to cover your losses. Let some losses stand as what they really are in the overall grand scheme of things. Pretend you are starting from scratch based on where you are now without the memory of the past and then decide! (In business, some people talk about the mental game of pretending that you are going to move your business across the street, and then asking yourself what you would do differently. What's so powerful about this idea is that it can help you see things that you would do differently if you weren't so engrossed in your current challenges.)

How to Conquer "Value Attribution" …
Learn to discern the real or intrinsic value rather than someone else's opinion or the price society puts on something.

How to Conquer "Diagnosis Bias" …
Observe things the way they really are, not the way you initially saw them.

* * * * *

Now that I've read some of my wife's books, I'd better get back to work on my own list. Here's a quote that may help give you some reading motivation:

You are the same today that you are going to be in five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.
- Charles Jones

Of course, I would add audio programs to Charlie's list because it can sometimes be really powerful to hear an author deliver his or her work with all of the emotion that goes along with the ideas being presented. I guess that's why I love listening to authors in addition to reading what they have to say. Sometimes that added emotion can make all of the difference in bringing an idea to life.

Have you ever thought about your life as a story? My quess is that you'll benefit greatly by thinking about the story of your life, and perhaps analyzing your performance thus far. By doing this, you'll probably be able to see for the first time what your life has really been about as well as where your life is heading. The truth of the matter is that all of us are actually writing, directing, and starring in our own story every day. We just don't tend to think of it that way. But here's an interesting question to consider: Would you enjoy going to the movies to see your story being acted out? Is it a good story that others would find interesting or, for that matter, would you find it interesting? Would you like how you are living your life if you were watching yourself on a movie screen?

One of my favorite pastimes is watching movies. I love a good movie. Nothing seems to have the power to carry me away like a great story brought to life on the big screen. But have you ever stopped to think that many of the stories we like the most are actually quite similiar in structure? In fact, you might be surprised to learn that most successful movies are based on stories that have only a few key elements. I've seen academic lists of 5 elements including Introduction, Rising Action, Climax, Falling Action, and Denouement from movie critics, and I also remember hearing someone use as many as 7 elements to analyze movies which I found more interesting because the elements used could more easily be connected with a person's life. For our purposes, I'm going to use a rough outline of those 7 elements I once heard discussed but I'm going to change the order a bit and relabel them in an effort to help you see how powerful this concept can be when it comes to living your best possible life.

Remember, your life really is a story, or series of stories. And maybe by detaching to see your life as a moviegoer would see it, you'll be able to see things you've never seen before. By viewing your life as a story, is it possible that you might discover how to make it better? How to get unstuck? How to solve your current problems? How to overcome whatever is that's standing between you and what it is you really want in life?

Most stories start with a person that has a desire or a wish or a goal that he or she wants to make real. We could simply label this element "The Desire."

Let's use the movie Mr. Holland's Opus to bring this whole concept to life. Richard Dreyfuss plays the leading role of Mr. Holland who is a man on a mission. He is a man who wants to write great music. He wants to be a world-class composer. But a story only begins with "The Desire". What makes a story start to take life and get us involved and engaged very quickly is the next element which we'll call "The Problem."

In the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus, we quickly see that Mr. Holland has a major problem which can simply be labeled the cares of life. He needs money so he can have the free time he wants to write his opus. He needs to figure out a way to make some money. We can probably all identify with that problem on many levels. So often we have a desire to do something but it costs money. If we don't have the money, we have a problem that needs to be solved.

But the movie also doesn't stop there. Part of what makes any story interesting is seeing how problems are going to be overcome and Mr. Holland doesn't disappoint us. He jumps right in to the next element of a story which we'll call "The Plan." Mr. Holland's plan is simple. He is going to teach music until he can finish his great opus or symphony and, in the process, become a world-renowned composer. It's an interesting desire with a plan to overcome his immediate problem. "The Desire" followed by "The Problem" with the introduction of "The Plan" that appears to have some merit. Isn't it also interesting that we could probably identify these same elements in our own life? What's your desire? What do you want to accomplish? What is your problem? What's holding you back or standing between you and your desire? And what is your plan? Do you have a strategy to work your way through the problem or problems facing you in life?

Of course, we know that there's always more to a great story than a desire, a problem, and a plan. If fact, if that's all there was to Mr. Holland's Opus, or any other movie we were watching, we'd probably be on the verge of being quite bored and getting ready to ask for our money back before we even finish our popcorn. But it's the next element of a great story that makes things really get interesting. Let's call this next part "The Opponents."

Great stories have many levels of opponents and this is certainly true in the movie Mr. Holland's Opus. And the job of the opponents is to do everything they can do to block "The Plan" and that's exactly what happens to Mr. Holland. While Mr. Holland is content to do the minimum requirements as a music teacher so he has plenty of free time to compose his opus, the principal of the school has another idea. She doesn't want Mr. Holland sneaking out early when there are students that need additional help. And we quickly see that Mr. Holland is confronted by a whole host of students that don't appear to have a lick of musical talent yet he is expected to teach them. Let's label all of these opponents, external opponents.

Getting back to your story, do you have any opponents? People that are holding you back? You might right now be making a list in your mind. What makes Mr. Holland's Opus so interesting is the fact that he doesn't just have one opponent but a number of opponents. I've heard people categorize opponents into three areas including external, internal, and intimate. The external opponents are easy to see. For Mr. Holland, we already discussed the principal and students but there were also others if you watch the movie and think about this a bit.

For example, what about the internal opponent that we all face? In the movie, we can see Mr. Holland conflicted about what to do just as we so often are with the choices we face in life. Mr. Holland wants to get his opus written and become a world-class composer, but he also wants to do right thing for the students that have been entrusted to him. And if that's not enough, the movie quickly shows us that there are two key intimate opponents. Mr. Holland and his wife are blessed with the birth of a son but it is quickly discovered that the son is deaf. Imagine being a musician where hearing is everything to you and now you are presented with a child that cannot hear. Mr. Holland and his wife now have a son that is going to require a great deal of additional time to raise. I suppose you could say that this is how the plot thickens as Mr. Holland has to deal with some pretty challenging intimate family relationships which can be seen as opponents to Mr. Holland's desire or goal.

Can you identify with the idea of external, internal, and intimate opponents in your life? It's not unusual that the biggest part of a movie, or the story of your life, to get caught up in the drama of dealing with opponents. In fact, as the opponents become more and more clear, we could say that the next phase of the story is rather obvious and is often simply called "The Battle." Rarely do opponents just cave in without a conflict. And it's often this struggle with opponents that glues us to a story. There might now be a chase scene or a toe-to-toe fight between the good guy and the bad guy that is almost cliche in movies, but there has to be some form of what might be called conflict resolution. In other words, how is this story going to turn out? What's going to happen? Is Mr. Holland going to write his opus? How is he going to deal with the challenges with his wife and the fact that he now has a deaf son that needs special care? And how might Mr. Holland's story of overcoming challenges relate to you? How are you going to overcome your problems and deal with your opponents?

I find that most people get stuck in the battle phase of their own personal stories. Isn't that true? Talk with someone about their life and see what they talk about? More often than not, it's the challenges. Of course, there's nothing in and of itself that is bad about that unless you get stuck in your battle. But at some point, you have to do what all great movies do, move beyond the battle. Although let's face it, battle scenes can make a movie! But what's next? Don't things need to get resolved?

So how are things going to get resolved? It wasn't easy for Mr. Holland. He had to learn to deal with his external opponents by making decisions about what was most important and setting new priorities. But, of course, this required battling himself from the standpoint of what to do about writing that opus that he thought was so important. And his wife wasn't going to allow him to avoid his son or not develop the kind of relationship that he was capable of having even though his son was deaf. None of this was easy but watching him deal with all of this makes the story really come alive.

My apologies in advance for giving away the ending to the movie but I just can't help myself. At the end of Mr. Holland's career as a music teacher, he finds himself looking back on what he's accomplished, or as he sees it, not accomplished with a sense of failure. The one thing that he set out to do — i.e., becoming a world-class composer — hasn't happened. And what's worse, the music program is now in jeapardy of being cancelled because of a lack of funding. As Mr. Holland clears out his desk with his wife and son accompanying him, he hears something going on in the auditorium of the school. Of course, his wife and son know exactly what is going on. As Mr. Holland gets to the auditorium and opens the door, he sees it's filled with previous and present students. Hundreds of people that have been touched by him and his gifts as a music teacher, and they are there to thank him for his life's work.

Interestingly, an early clarinet student who was just one of the many students touched by Mr. Holland's unique gifts as a teacher, had become Governor of the State, and she was now serving as the master of ceremonies for this special surprise event. During her speech, she says something that brings what we'll call "The Resolution" clearly into focus. She says these words:

"Mr. Holland had a profound influence on my life and on a lot of lives I know. But I have a feeling that he considers a great part of his own life misspent. Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his. And this was going to make him famous, rich, probably both. But Mr. Holland isn't rich and he isn't famous, at least not outside of our little town. So it might be easy for him to think himself a failure. But he would be wrong, because I think that he's achieved a success far beyond riches and fame. Look around you. There is not a life in this room that you have not touched, and each of us is a better person because of you. We are your symphony Mr. Holland. We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life."

Mr. Holland breaks down in tears as this point and finally understands what his life has been about up to that point. He has clarity. He understands something he didn't udnerstand before. He has resolution which opens things up for the final part of any great story or movie, "The Celebration." In this case, Mr. Holland gets to hear what he has composed being performed by his students. There is much more to the movie than I've outlined here, but you probably get the idea. Mr. Holland is not a failure, he has discovered a greater success than he would have ever imagined for himself through the lives he has touched. He never realized until this moment that he had such an amazing teaching gift, and he certainly never realized the extent to which that gift had reached out into the world and really touched me people so deeply and profoundly.

And this brings us back to you. What about your life and your story? Where are you in the process of your story? Are you stuck dealing with an opponent? Have you been spending too many years in a battle? Are you learning that maybe the desire you started out with isn't the best one for you and there is something much better?

More importantly, how do you want your story to end?

Or how about this? Nowhere is it written that you can have only one story. Maybe the present story you are living needs "The Resolution" and "The Celebration" so you can create a new story. As the credits rolled for Mr. Holland's Opus, I found myself thinking that instead of retiring, Mr. Holland had plenty of time to become a composer if he still wanted to pursue that dream. But I also found myself thinking that sometimes what we get is better for us than what we might have wanted in the first place. Life is interesting that way. Sometimes we don't get what we want but we get what we need.

Maybe a fresh look at your life and the story you are living could give you a new perspective. How about viewing your life as a story and seeing where that leads you. Just take the 7 elements we've discussed and apply them to your life thus far.

THE DESIRE
Is what you have been chasing really want you want? Is "The Desire" the right one for you?

THE PROBLEM
Are the problems you are facing really that bad or are they serving you in some way? Is "The Problem" holding you back or getting you to grow?

THE PLAN
Is your plan producing good results or do you need a different approach? Does "The Plan" appear to be working or is it time to consider another strategy?

THE OPPONENTS
What about those people that you view as opponents? Are "The Opponents" maybe your greatest gift because they are forcing you to grow?

THE BATTLE
Are you stuck in a battle that maybe it's time to resolve? Is it time to realize that you can end "The Battle" at any time that you wish?

THE RESOLUTION
And finally, what lesson is life trying to teach you? Often all you need to resolve a situation is a new level of understanding which can come at any time. "The Resolution" just needs you to recognize the lesson so you can move on to that last element.

THE CELEBRATION
Whatever you do, don't forget "The Celebration." It's like the icing on the cake. But do me a favor. No matter where you are in your current story, remember that you don't have to wait until the end of it to have a party. Make your whole life a celebration. I think you'll find it's more fun that way.

Every New Year many of us resolve to make changes in our lives, to set new and important goals. We're inspired by that annual turn of the calendar to wipe the slate clean and to write new scenarios for our lives. It's a logical time for new beginnings, new hopes, and new directions in our lives.

But if you've ever made New Year's resolutions — and I suspect you have — you know how difficult it is to keep them. We begin the month of January with our best intentions supported by genuine enthusiasm and optimism. Then what happens? Sometimes little by little, the will and momentum fades and pretty soon, we realize that our good intentions got lost along the way. That's when we say, "Oh well, there's always next year!"

Or at least that's what happens until we learn the secret to keeping those resolutions, the secret to achieving the goals we make. That secret, quite simply, is assuring that you have sound support for the lasting changes you want to make in your life. And that support is often available all around you: from your spouse, children, friends, co-workers, and anyone and everyone you know who has your best interests at heart. It's up to you to share your goals and enlist the support of those people who can help you.

But, of course, what's most important is what you do to support yourself. You may, for example, resolve to quit smoking, lose weight, get a promotion, or learn a new skill. Whatever your goal, systematically remind yourself of that goal, constantly, throughout every day. Honor that goal by never letting it out of your sight or mind and you will achieve it. Among all of your supporters, make sure that your voice is the loudest and the most enthusiastic, the one that never lets up. That's the key to successfully following through on resolutions-New Year's or otherwise.

Here at Success.bz, we don't wait for New Year's to make resolutions. We believe every day is the perfect day to make a fresh start, to establish a new goal, and to mark a new beginning. And we're dedicated to giving you the support you need to keep your resolutions.

Perhaps this would be a great time to start using our online "LifeOrganizer" program to map out a better future for yourself and begin tracking all of your progress. Simply select the "LifeOrganizer" tab on the top of our website if you want to take it for a spin.

Maybe it's time to listen to one of our many programs to gain some critical information you need to succeed. There are so many great programs online just waiting for you to listen to them and to start using the wisdom they contain. Or maybe one of our FREE newsletters would help you stay on track. How about signing up for a FREE motivational quote to be delivered to your inbox every day? There's nothing like a daily great idea in the form of a motivational quote to keep you inspired. We'd be thrilled to send you one everyday if you just sign up for the service. There are no strings attached.

Remember, the help you need to succeed is always close by but you have to be the one to recognize it and take action. So make this the year you take massive action toward all of your dreams.

Here are some interesting ideas about happiness from the website Mercola.com:

* * * * *

"Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says that you ‘synthesize’ your happiness. That you have a ‘psychological immune system’ that helps you change your views about your world, in order to feel better about the world in which you find yourself."

"Not only that, he also maintains that when we imagine what could make us happy, such as new clothes or winning the lottery our brains are invariably wrong in advising us that those things will make us happy. In fact, statistics show that paraplegics are just as happy as lottery winners one year after the event of either becoming injured, or winning the lottery!"

"We tend to think that getting things such as a job, a new car, or a trip around the world is what will make us happy. However, studies have shown that we make ourselves happy by simply imagining that we are happy. So getting what we want doesn’t actually have anything to do with being happy."

"Why is this?"

* * * * *

Read the full explanation and see a very interesting clip at Mercola.com:
Read the entire story and watch a clip of Dan Gilbert at Mercola.com

You can also view this TED Talks clip of Dan Gilbert at YouTube.com:
Watch the clip at YouTube.com

I remember one of my early mentors telling me that if I wanted to be financial independent, I needed to start spending the majority of my time with people who were already financial independent. I'm sad to say that this mentor was the only person in my life at that time who qualified as financially independent. But I took his words to heart and started to develop associations and friendships with people who had the means to live the kind of lifestyle that I wanted for myself. And it was these associations along with this early mentor that made my goal of financial independence a reality.

So associating with the right people really does make a difference and not just to your net worth. Have you ever noticed how people who are drowning in problems are surrounded by others in the same situation? People naturally become molded by the people they are around. It's just a natural human tendency to become a part of our environment. So the bottomline is that we need to choose our environment very carefully.

And while it's sometimes difficult to free yourself from a bad situation, it's always possible. You just need the desire mixed with some dogged determination. In fact, what can make it so hard to climb out of a bad situation is the people who unknowingly want to hold you back. Since they are fearful of anything different than what they know, they want to protect you by keeping you exactly where you are.

I like to call this the "crabs in a bucket" phenomena. When you have a bucket full of crabs, all of the crabs are reasonably happy until one of them decides to try and climb out of the bucket. The other crabs become quite angry and do everything they can to pull that climbing crab right back to the bottom.

So don't let other peoples' fears hold you back. Once you've decided on a goal, pursue it with everything you've got.

I had an interesting conversation with a client recently that reminded me of the movie “The Perfect Storm” starring George Clooney. Have you watched that movie?

It’s about a struggling fishing boat captain played by George Clooney. In the movie, George is desperately trying to stay in business after a string of bad luck and not being able to find great fishing spots. Unfortunately, he is so intent on finding fish at any cost, he ignores his better judgment and years of experience to steer his ship right in the middle of a massive storm.

As I was listening to my client describe his current situation, it brought to mind parallels with the movie. My client thought he was under extreme pressure to make a decision to change the nature of his business and because he didn’t think things through clearly, he had just steered his once prosperous business into the perfect storm. Rather than take the time and make the effort necessary to carefully think through his many options, my client was so intent on pushing his business forward that he took some extremely large risks — the kind of risks that he would normally steer clear of. What’s even more interesting is that he chose to ignore many critical indicators in his business that would have confirmed that this was indeed not the time for such a risky move.

In the movie, George Clooney as the fishing boat captain had all of the instruments necessary to see the weather patterns and to predict the course of the storm but he chose to ignore everything out of desperation to catch some fish. Unfortunately, this decision cost him and his crew their lives as their small boat and all of their skills on the sea were no match for the storm.

Luckily, my client is not facing such a perilous end. However, his decision will cost him a great deal of money, and it will force him to lay off some extremely talented people. But with some clear thinking and strategic planning, the business will prosper again. Storms don’t last forever and the sun will indeed shine again.

Just keep in mind that the best course to take is the one where you maneuver your ship around the storms of life. True, you can’t avoid all storms or adversity but you can avoid more than you might imagine with proper planning. Sometimes, the only thing you need to do is take a deep breathe and ask yourself if the course you are on is going where you really want to go. Are you steering yourself into any storms that you could avoid? And if you are thinking seriously about heading into a storm, have you asked yourself if it’s really worth the risk? There are an abundance of fish throughout the ocean so why not find a calm, sunny spot and then cast your line?

The first step toward mastering your destiny is simply acknowledging that it's possible to exert control over your life. You must accept that you have the power to exert that control. Unfortunately, few people really live in this way.

For many, the word destiny conveys a curious, even mystical concept. The dictionary calls destiny "the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible course of events." It is a definition that appears to have many interpretations.

For some, destiny means life is controlled, even predestined, by external forces over which individuals have little or no say.

The ancient Greeks, for example, believed that a person's future was determined by three goddesses called the Fates, or the Destinies. The first Fate, Clotho, spun the thread of life. The second, Lachesis, measured the length of the thread so that the last Fate, Atropos, would know where to cut the thread to end the individual's life.

Since Ancient Greece, people have found reason to believe sincerely that their individual destinies were determined by such other disparate forces as gods, astrological signs, spirits, numerology, and even aliens from outer space! For some, divine predestination is an important religious belief. Some are convinced that individual fate is determined solely by either heredity or environment or both.

The obvious problems with such preemptive prescriptions for life is that they not only relieve individuals of the responsibility for their actions, but they rob us of incentive and initiative to live up to our potential. It reminds me of what I call the "conveyor belt" philosophy of life. With this outlook, we merely have to step on at the beginning and be carried through life without initiative or interruption to a predetermined destination. It may be safe, it may be secure and undemanding, but it leaves little room for creativity, individual achievement, or opportunities to enjoy the ride.

Let's look again at the definition of the word destiny. It says that destiny is "the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible course of events." What's missing here, of course, is the who! Who predetermines the course of events? I certainly don't mean to fault or take issue with those who, by religious teaching or tradition do ascribe a part of the direction or influence for their lives to a higher power. But I don't think any of us can afford to abdicate complete responsibility for what happens in our lives. If we're to progress, if we're to succeed, if we're to reap the rewards of our efforts, each of us has to be the one who predetermines and makes inevitable or irresistible the course of events in our lives.

Consider Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." We have to give him credit for recognizing the inevitable consequences of his old ways. In the end of the story, he leaves us with the timeless and uplifting lesson that not only do we each predetermine our individual fate in life, but we each have the power, through our own actions, to shape a more rewarding destiny for ourselves at any time.

These reflections on individual destiny always bring me back to the familiar but reliable saying that God, or whatever higher power you prefer, always helps those who help themselves. I don't believe anyone is entered as a favorite in the human race. Certainly some people start out with more than others, but everyone is given opportunities to advance in the world, and everyone has the free will and power to act on those opportunities. We all are empowered to reach our highest potential. Not to do so is a waste of the gifts of talent and free will that are our natural birthright.

So I urge you to define your destiny as a self-charted path to the successful future that you've decided to create. Experience the full potential of your destiny by exercising the power of your talents and the free will you have been given. Consider your destiny as a happy, exciting, and fulfilling journey that is always in progress, not just a final destination. It is the sum total of your well-designed life. It is the highest expression of what you believe. Your destiny is predetermined by you and is always subject to change for the better.

You can look at your life in two ways: that your destiny is something that happens to you, or that it's something you actively create. For me, the choice here is obvious. Become the architect of your own life. Use your power over your destiny to design your future and shape the world around you. Be the one who makes things happen!

Most of us carry ID cards of some kind and are used to presenting them as we must when cashing checks or purchasing airline tickets. These little cards are models of efficient and simplistic brevity in itemizing our vital statistics. For the purposes of the concerned authorities, we are who these cards say we are.

And we wear many other labels as we proceed through life, figurative labels that others use to assess who we are and what we are about. These labels are as diverse as they are numerous and are subject to change as our circumstances in life change from day to day, month to month and year to year. Besides such obvious attributes as gender, race, origins and physical characteristics that distinguish us, we will be known by how we earn a living, by our achievements, and titles, as well as by our standing as parent, spouse, friend, mentor, competitor or any of the other myriad roles we play in life.

What's clear from all this is that no one person can know us by all the roles we play and no single role that may be perceived by others represents the complete picture of who we are. We may indeed be chameleon-like in our propensity to alter our protective coloring to suit our circumstances. The average person presents a multi-faceted presence to the world that is both complex and enigmatic.

We inevitably will have a hard time answering the question "Who am I" amidst this profusion of possibilities. To plumb the real measure of our identity we must direct our search for the answer inward.

The distinguished designer and perfumer, Coco Chanel once said, "How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but to be someone." When we decide to be someone rather than something, we find the means to define our real identity. When we concentrate on determining who we are instead of what we are, we no longer depend on others to define our identity. Determining who we are is defining our identity from within.

The identity that we build from within ourselves supersedes and overlays all the labels that we may in the course of our lives attach to our outer selves. That inner identity is constructed with the enduring fabric of integrity of self and integrity of purpose in life.

We become someone when we become confident in our moral judgments, when we know the difference between right and wrong and stand ready to defend our ground.

We become someone when we set goals for ourselves and are committed to work to achieve those goals.

In a paradoxical sense, we realize our true identity when we recognize and admit our limitations. Candor in dealing with any shortcoming is the essential first step in correcting or overcoming our deficiencies.

These essential elements of your identity, though not appropriate for an ID card, are the enduring and unchanging definition of who you are. They have the advantage over more transient labels of being universally recognized and always apparent. You will be known by the identity you create for yourself from within.

Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Dorothy Gale, who lived on a farm in Kansas with her aunt and uncle and a little dog named Toto. Her aunt and uncle were kind and hardworking, and while she didn't have many friends her own age, she got along well with the farmhands and even saw them as part of an extended family. It was a good and simple life, and while she couldn't really imagine living any other way, she wasn't quite happy. She felt that she was missing something, that maybe living on a farm was just not her destiny. There was another world out there somewhere … she didn't know where, whether it was nearby or as far away as over the rainbow, but it was a better, brighter world … a world where all of her dreams were just waiting to come true, if she could only get there. But she didn't know how to get there, and she had school and the harvest to worry about, so she didn't even try.

But a day came when Dorothy received a spark of inspiration. To save her best friend, her little dog Toto, from the hands of a wicked neighbor, Dorothy packed a basket, grabbed Toto, and went in search of her fortune. The real world was a wider and scarier place than it had seemed from her comfortable life on the farm, but our friend Dorothy was determined to continue. That is, until she hit an obstacle.

Does any of this sound familiar? Many of us may be leading perfectly comfortable lives but still feel we're missing something. We try not to think of it, immersing ourselves in our work or home life, but the thought of something more keeps tickling the back of our minds. Could that something be our ultimate destiny calling to us? Could it be a daydream begging for a chance to come true?

How often do we sit down and ask ourselves if we're truly happy or even try to conceptualize specifically what we want out of life? In the Western world, most of us are comfortable or at least too busy to do anything about it if we're not. If we do live a life filled with problems or hardship, we've usually resolved ourselves to it, thinking that life is meant to be such a struggle.

I think it's fair to say that no one has everything he or she wants out of life — there is always more to experience. But the question is, How do we go about getting what we want? Most people pursue their dreams like Dorothy. They idly dream about the life they're missing. They may make an attempt to go after their dreams, but most of their attempts will be unplanned and unfocused. And ultimately, the moment they hit an obstacle or encounter a naysayer, many of them turn back toward their old lives, which may or may not be comfortable, but are definitely not fulfilling.

Well, as Dorothy ran down the road of life, blindly trying to locate her dreams, she met up with a charlatan who tricked her into turning back and retreating to her old life as quickly as she could.

I'm sure you remember the rest of this story. Part of her dream actually did come true, and she ended up in her magical world over the rainbow. But like many of us who idly daydream about what we want out of life, she discovered when she got it that it wasn't what she really wanted at all! Had she spent some time pondering what she really wanted, she might have realized that the land of her dreams was actually beyond the next rainbow over, but instead she went farther and farther down the wrong Yellow Brick Road, having one misadventure after another.

Many people think that the message behind "The Wizard of Oz" is that happiness comes from being content with what you have, with not making waves or striving for something different, because these things will invariably come to nothing or be disastrous if you should somehow accomplish them. But this is a tragic misconception. The real message behind "The Wizard of Oz" comes not at the very end of the movie, when Dorothy is reunited with her family and friends and decides that "there's no place like home." The true message comes a couple of minutes before this, when the good witch laughs her silvery little laugh and tells Dorothy that it was well within her power to get what she wanted the entire time! And, of course, it's within the power of each and every one of us to make our heart's desires into reality. All we have to do is access our talents and abilities by believing in ourselves. Dorothy didn't get home because she clicked some magic shoes together; she got home because she believed she could.

The power to go home is not, however, the only power Dorothy had throughout "The Wizard of Oz." At the end of the movie, Dorothy discovers that she could have been happy all along by living on the farm with her aunt and uncle. We also suspect that she could have been happy at any time in Oz, exploring a thrilling new land with her fun, if eccentric, new friends. Dorothy presses on, though, hoping to discover happiness at the end of some imaginary journey. But happiness doesn't come at the end of a journey. Happiness is the journey.

It's the same with destiny. You're not going to find your destiny by leaving everything you know and wandering aimlessly. It's not some encapsulated moment hidden in the distant future or a distant land. Your destiny begins the moment you decide upon it and start working toward it. Your destiny is a way of life. If you believe that you won't encounter it until some far-off day, then that day will never come. Sure, you won't instantly wake up after deciding upon what you want and discover you've achieved it. But you also don't want to hold the belief that your life won't begin until you get what you want. Your life began a long time ago, and the time to begin living it fully is right now.

So don't make the mistakes Dorothy made of first being trapped in an uncomfortable life and, later, after a strange misadventure, mistaking her new happiness for her life's destiny. Lying in bed back in Kansas, she decides that just because she is suddenly happy living on the farm, she would never leave again. Achieving happiness in your life now as opposed to postponing it until some unspecified future only requires a change of perspective, and Dorothy's journey to Oz helped her to gain that perspective. But being happy is not an excuse to give up on your destiny. It is your destiny to be happy, but it's also your destiny to live the life you truly want to live. Your happiness will flow from working to create that destiny.

It is possible to be happy, even extremely happy, with the things we already have, but the tough question is asking if what you have is really what you want. It's easy to see why people are comforted by stories of others discovering the things they want in their own backyards. Stories such as these provide an excuse for not setting out on a possibly scary adventure and just sitting around at home, doing the same old things and hoping something good will turn up. But it's crazy to continue to do the same old things and have the same old beliefs and think that, any day now, you're going to achieve different results!

What's important to remember is that the starting point for living your ultimate destiny is being honest with yourself and deciding what it is you really want in life. Once you know what it is you truly desire, the steps for achieving it often fall into place as if by magic.