Increase the Outcome odds in your favor

by Cher Hung Seet

Many times in life, I've seen people get angry and upset over an event that happened. This event could be anything; a remark that someone made or an incident that occurred or even just a feeling that one may have at a particular time, triggered by another event.

For example, many years ago, I had a boss who came into the office with a red face, obviously angry over something. He walked right into his office, slammed the door and kept himself locked in till lunch. Nobody dared disturb him and everyone worked in apprehension as to what will happen next if he should walk out of the room. Will be bark at someone? Will he find something to throw his anger at? His "foul mood" had affected the mood of the office environment as well. At lunch, he went out and never came back till the next day. A few days later, when all seemed to have cooled down, a colleague asked his secretary what happened. Apparently, he had an argument with the contractor who was building his house in the morning before coming into the office, and allowed his anger and disappointment to get the better of him.

In another incident, a female colleague came to the office, looking very downcast. All day, she was not very responsive and it affected the mood of the office as she was the "livewire" of the office. We found out later, that she had receive news that a good childhood friend was hospitalized with a serious illness.

We all have seen these incidents, and some of us may have been the "victims" of some of these as well. Many times, we justify our anger, sadness etc... by saying, "He/She should not have said (or done) this!" I'm also sure that when the incident was over, we'd all look back at the incident to realize the folly of our behavior and see how it had affected not just ourselves but also others in our vicinity.

What we need to realize here is that how we feel about a particular incident (referred to as the "outcome" here) is mostly defined by the equation, Event x Response = Outcome. We often blame the "Event" for our "Outcome" but in reality, most of our "Outcome" is really defined by how we "Respond" to the "Event".

Let's look at a hypothetical event that could happen in real life. Let's imagine we are in a classroom and Mrs Brown picks on John in class and said, "John, your report was not very good. I would like you to come to my office after school and we will spend the afternoon going through your report". How do you think John's self-esteem will be affected? Well, in most cases, most people would think that John's self-esteem will be affected negatively for being singled out in class because that is how most of us were programmed to think! Well, let's take a look at how John can respond.

Firstly, if John is like most people, he can choose to see that the teacher dislikes him and his report and chose to pick on him and embarrass him in class. If he responds this way, his self-esteem will definitely be affected negatively.

Alternatively, John could choose to see that his teacher does not fully understand the subject he is writing about in his report because it is a topic that is too profound for most people. He makes up his mind to tell his teacher, Mrs Brown, that. In this case, his self-esteem will not be affected.

Finally, John could choose to think this, "There are so many students in class writing about a similar topic and Mrs Brown chose to pick on me. I think she likes me!" If John responds this way, his self-esteem could actually be elevated.

You can see from the example above that the "Outcome" (in this case, John's Self-Esteem), is affected differently just by how he chooses to respond. While this is a hypothetical event, similar events replay themselves everyday in real life on different people; a child spilled his drink on your favorite dress, a guest made a remark about your poor taste in dressing, you lost something valuable etc...

Just last week, a friend lost her favorite wallet. I expected her to be upset but instead she said, "Oh well, while it is valuable, it's also old and maybe it's time to buy a new one!". What an awesome example of managing our "Response" to tilt the "Outcome" in your favor.

Life "throws" you many things everyday. When life throws you a "Lemon", instead of wincing at the sourness of the lemon, chose to make lemonade instead!

Website Email |  Profile | 

About Cher Hung Seet

C.H. has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Electrical Engineering and a Masters in Business Administration. He spent a large part of his career working for large multinationals such as Hewlett Packard and Rockwell Automation. C.H. now heads a German multinational in SE Asia and is the author of the blog http://www.ezinspirations.com focusing on Success in Life!

In his free time, C.H. indulge in hobbies like Fishing, Cycling, Motorbiking, Photography. He has another blog at http://www.fishinghorizon.com focusing on his fishing adventures throughout the world!

Recent articles by Cher Hung Seet

Jun 14, 2008 Present your way to Success!
Mar 17, 2008 Water and your Health : Part 1 of 2
Feb 3, 2008 Do the right things and shorten your journey to Success!
Jan 14, 2008 Make Compounding work for you!
Jan 3, 2007 Harness the Power of Leverage!
View all of Cher Hung Seet's articles »
Submit Your Article
Sign up for Success.bz and you can be automatically notified via email whenever there is a new article.

For web users who would prefer to subscribe to the web feed, click the "Feed" button below.

Browse by Category

» Abundance
» Action
» Addiction
» Adversity
» Advertising
» Affirmations
» Age
» Anger Management
» Anxiety
» Appreciation
» Approval
» Associations
» Attitude
» Awareness
» Balance
» Behavior
» Beliefs
» Branding
» Business
» Career
» Change
» Choices
» Coaching
» Communication
» Confidence
» Contentment
» Contribution
» Control
» Creativity
» Destiny
» Discipline
» Dreams
» Education
» Ego
» Emotions
» Enlightenment
» Entrepreneurship
» Exercise
» Expectations
» Faith
» Family
» Fear
» Fearlessness
» Feelings
» Financial Protection
» Flow
» Focus
» Forgiveness
» Freedom
» Fun
» Fund Raising
» Goals
» Growth Strategies
» Guilt
» Habits
» Happiness
» Healing
» Health
» Higher Self
» Home-Based Business
» Humor
» Hypnosis
» Ideas
» Identity Theft
» Imagination
» Inspiration
» Intelligence
» Intention
» Internet
» Introspection
» Investing
» Job Seeking
» Karma
» Law of Attraction
» Leadership
» Legacy
» Lifestyle
» Love
» Management
» Marketing
» Meditation
» Memory
» Mental Health
» Mentoring
» Metaphysical
» Motivation
» Music Therapy
» Narcissism
» Negotiation
» Networking
» Opportunity
» Organization
» Parenting
» Passion
» Peace
» Perception
» Perfectionism
» Persistence
» Personal Growth
» Philosophy
» Planning
» Positive Thinking
» Potential
» Predictability
» Presence
» Priorities
» Problems
» Procrastination
» Productivity
» Programming
» Prosperity
» Psychology
» Public Speaking
» Publishing
» Purpose
» Questions
» Relationships
» Routines
» Sales
» Self-Awareness
» Self-Esteem
» Self-Help
» Self-Improvement
» Service
» Sharing
» Speaking
» Spirituality
» Strategy
» Stress
» Subconscious
» Success
» Thoughts
» Time Management
» Transformation
» Transition Points
» Travel
» Trust
» Truth
» Unique Talent
» Values
» Vision
» Visualization
» Wealth
» Weight-Loss
» Wellness
» Work
» Writing

Browse by Date

» June 2017
» May 2017
» November 2016
» October 2016
» September 2016
» August 2016
» May 2016
» April 2016
» January 2016
» December 2015
» November 2015
» October 2015
» September 2015
» August 2015
» May 2015
» April 2015
» March 2015
» February 2015
» January 2015
» December 2014
» November 2014
» September 2014
» August 2014
» July 2014
» June 2014
» May 2014
» April 2014
» March 2014
» February 2014
» January 2014
» December 2013
» November 2013
» October 2013
» September 2013
» August 2013
» July 2013
» June 2013
» May 2013
» April 2013
» March 2013
» February 2013
» January 2013
» December 2012
» November 2012
» October 2012
» September 2012
» August 2012
» July 2012
» June 2012
» May 2012
» April 2012
» March 2012
» February 2012
» January 2012
» December 2011
» November 2011
» October 2011
» September 2011
» August 2011
» July 2011
» June 2011
» May 2011
» March 2011
» February 2011
» January 2011
» December 2010
» November 2010
» October 2010
» September 2010
» July 2010
» June 2010
» May 2010
» April 2010
» March 2010
» February 2010
» January 2010
» December 2009
» November 2009
» October 2009
» September 2009
» August 2009
» July 2009
» June 2009
» May 2009
» April 2009
» March 2009
» February 2009
» January 2009
» December 2008
» November 2008
» October 2008
» September 2008
» August 2008
» July 2008
» June 2008
» May 2008
» April 2008
» March 2008
» February 2008
» January 2008
» December 2007
» November 2007
» October 2007
» September 2007
» August 2007
» July 2007
» June 2007
» May 2007
» April 2007
» March 2007
» February 2007
» January 2007
» December 2006
» November 2006
» October 2006
» September 2006
» August 2006
» July 2006
» June 2006
» May 2006
» April 2006
» March 2006

Browse by Author

View all authors »